Hope's Alive!!

I have been struck lately by a song on a recent album I purchased... If you haven't checked out Ronnie Freeman's music, do it soon! His newest album, Perfect Love, is just as amazing and spirit-filled as his past recordings...Love it! Anyways, on that album is a song called 'Finished'. Listen to the lyrics:

Now I sing a song of Praise for my King who saved me

I'm so glad You made a way for me to be set free!

You paid for life and conquered death,

What You started, You finished!

Now today...For all the world...

Hope's Alive!! Hope's Alive!!

(Repeat Chorus)

What You started, You finished!

The work is done...Thank you Lord!

Such powerful words!! I so easily spend my days focused on me and the different situations in my life and in other's lives that can often seem hopeless. Hope's Alive!! Hope's Alive!! As believers in Jesus Christ we are never without hope! Oh how I pray that that truth sinks deep in each one of us today and that we never forget that our hope is “...in the living God, who is the Savior of all men...” 1 Timothy 4:10.

“Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; He is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge.”

Psalm 62:5-8

In our little Bible study group yesterday (which I am loving, by the way), my sweet sisters have shared a little bit about some of the trials and difficulties they've been through in this life. I don't know what you are going through today, but just based on the odds from last night, It's likely to say you or someone close to you is going through some serious *ahem* crap! Sorry, but don't tell me that's not what you call it too... :) Find rest, sweet soul, in God alone! In every circumstance, your hope comes from Him. He alone is your rock and your salvation....He is your might rock and your refuge! Trust in Him at all times, dear friend, pour out your heart to Him, for HE is your refuge.

Listen to Beth Moore's writing in her So Long Insecurity book:

[God] does not take lightly that some of us were raised in a veritable madhouse. He does not take lightly that some of us have been mentally berated or physically beaten or abused or abandoned. He does not take lightly that some of us are still trying to recover from that midnight phone call. He does not take lightly that some of us were born with legs that don't work. Or eyes that can't see. Or ears that can't hear. He does not take lightly that some of us have endured the cancer treatment of our very own children. He does not take lightly that some of us, Lord help us, have buried our own children.

He knows it's scary to be us. Son of David, have mercy on us! It's almost too much to bear here at times, Lord....The thunder crashes in the heavens, and the earth grows dark in the middle of the afternoon, and a man, beaten to a bloody pulp, cries from a cross between two theives, “It is finished!” Because He did, one day God will wipe away every tear from the eyes of those who trusted Him, and there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things will pass away and all our hardship will be finished.

My heart is heavy for the many who feel hopeless today. Take heart, Hope's Alive!

Love,

Hear the song here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyh1Feh9lyY

http://www.ronniefreemanonline.com/

Good Morning!

So, this one's for you Bible study ladies...I thought about shortening that to my B.S. ladies, but, for obvious reasons chose against it...hehe (Stephan and I have also joked about having a radio show and calling it the Becky and Stephan show and shortening it to the B.S. Show. Am I destined for everything I do to have the initials B.S. ???)... We'll have to come up with a better nickname for both soon! :)

I was getting caught up on the Living Proof Blog this morning and found the last entry to be so applicable to something we were talking about in Bible study last night! Every 2 weeks, Beth and a team of blog followers memorize a new scripture and post it. This is Beth's most current memory verse. I'm not going to say much more about it, but we all undergo times in our life where there is disagreement--even among believers, and I am finding it so important we know how to handle them in a way that honors the Lord. So, I think I'll memorize this one as well...

“And the Lord’s slave must not engage in heated disputes but be kind toward all, an apt teacher, patient, correcting opponents with gentleness. Perhaps God will grant them repentance and then knowledge of the truth and they will come to their senses and escape the devil’s trap where they are held captive to do his will.” 2 Timothy 2:24-26 The NET Bible

This portion of Scripture and others like it seem altogether ignored or dismissed in a culture where believers stay embroiled in one heated dispute after another. Scripture tells us how to differ without ripping the fabric of our common faith to shreds. In the segment above, the Apostle Paul uses words like kindness and gentleness. When we tend to think that carnality is the only kind of sin that can keep the church from revival, we’re overlooking the steady stream of commands in the New Testament about how to treat one another. Disunity can shipwreck the whole lot of us right there on the shore of disgrace. We can even be right and fall into the chastisement of God because our hearts were wrong. May God forgive us, heal us, and help us.                -Beth Moore

May the Lord bless you and grant you (and me!) the patience and kindness we need for today,

So Long, Insecurity!

That's right! What a great night of Bible study... I just love our little group of girlies (you know who you are!). :) We started the "So Long, Insecurity: You've Been a Bad Friend to Us" Group Experience by Beth Moore study this week and it has already been such a blessing. When I first heard of this newest book by Beth, I honestly didn't think much about it and certainly didn't get all that excited about it. After all, of all the problems I have, insecurity isn't one of them. Ha! Forgive me, I was so naively arrogant.

I have little speakers set up in my bathroom and kitchen so I can get online (thank heavens for smart phones) and listen to radio messages while doing my hair & makeup or the dishes, etc... Among the many I love at http://www.oneplace.com/ are Charles Swindoll, David Jeremiah, and of course, Beth Moore (Living Proof). I had just finished Beth's amazing archived series, Wising Up, and saw that the So Long Insecurity audio book was also in the archives. More curious than anything, I started listening...and listening...and quickly realized she had hit on a huge nerve with women in general--myself included. According to Webster's Dictionary, insecure is simply being "uncertain, unsafe and/or shaky"...all emotions myself and the rest of the human race experience on a fairly regular basis. After listening to the first few chapters, I started to connect many of my past and even some current actions and decisions to insecurity. It also began to ring bells with other women I had opportunity to speak to, and so began my desire to study this book and encourage other women to join me in learning to recognize insecurity and what it means to find my security in Christ alone. I hope you'll join us. I have a few more study guides on-hand and we're only in by 1 week, so it would be easy to catch up! Every Monday at 6:30pm. Email me asap if you'd like more info babrams819@hotmail.com.

Below is a blurb from the website http://www.solonginsecurity.com/. You can also follow a link on the same site to read the 1st chapter.

We’re insecure. You and me and every woman.  In fact, chronic insecurity is a cultural epidemic, but almost no one is talking about it. And it ticks me off.

Today’s women face unrealistic expectations, and then we’re bombarded with unrealistic images every day, making us more and more insecure. We’re insecure about everything from our looks to our worth as women, from our relationships to our futures, and everything else in between. You name it, and we’re probably insecure about it. Let’s be honest here. Insecurity makes us miserable. It cripples us. It makes us feel worthless. Insecurity has been a bad friend to us. It doesn’t have to be this way. It’s time to say “So long!” to insecurity. How? First we have to understand it, and the good news is that insecurity is understandable. The even better news is that insecurity is curable.

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”

Jeremiah 17:7-8

May we find our security in Him today,

It's Go Time...

Are you ready?! Ha ha. I've been saying that ("It's go time") all weekend and driving everyone crazy... But seriously, it actually is Go Time. Time for Bible Study! Things have been crazy for our little family the last 6 weeks with lots of changes so pardon my absence, but I'm so excited to get together with other ladies who want to live life for real, take time to pray for each other, and learn more about living a life that honors Jesus.

We are going to get together Monday nights, starting this coming Monday, June 13th at 6:30pm at my house.

We just moved to a place in Central Point this past weekend, so this first meeting will probably be more of a get-to-know-you session and perhaps an impromptu lesson/prayer time. I want this to be a group of women who can be real about real life stuff--starting with me, so feel free to come with your problems and I'll try not to take up the whole time talking about mine! Hehe... Shoot me an email babrams819@hotmail.com if you want directions to my place!

I'd better stop typing as it's late and I'm quite tired and can see that I'm just going to get myself in trouble if I keep talking... However, I have been praying about doing an evening study and then also doing the same study during the day on perhaps a Friday morning for many of the mommies that might have a hard time getting out at night. The evening one will not have childcare, but childcare can totally be arranged for the one during the day. If you would be interested in this, let me know! Comment or send me an email babrams819@hotmail.com.

I have so much I'd like to say here...I hope you are all doing well and living in each day in victory over condemnation through the power of Jesus Christ. Looking forward to blogging again soon!

Every day...Every. Day... E.V.E.R.Y. D.A.Y

Every day. For the rest of my life. Play clip below:

I'm one of those people who gets freaked out when you say I have to do something every day. I don't even like to brush my teeth every day (don't worry--I do). Can you imagine when I had my first baby? Wait, I have to feed him how many times a day?!?!  :) My days are all different, I rarely have the same routines more than a day at a time. So, the thought of doing something every day for the rest of my life actually makes me feel a little claustrophobic. Weird, huh? It's just not in my personality.

The Lord is challenging me lately to spend concerted time with Him every day. Play above clip again. Stephan said recently that he can tell when I'm not growing in the Lord. He said I'm a grouch and the house goes to heck. Ahahaha! :) It was a little hard to hear, but I know 100% that it is true. I'm so much better when I'm walking with Jesus.

It is and continues to be a journey! Having grown up in a strong Christian environment, the daily quiet time is just a given. It isn't optional, and if you don't do it, you're bad, B.A.D. bad. I always felt that way! And it hindered me like crazy! I accepted Christ as a child, and as a teen, I tried to do quiet times, but it wasn't out of a pure desire to meet with the Lord, it was because that is what you are supposed to do. It wasn't until I was going through a divorce that I was desperate for God's help and grace and I actually grew a desire to spend time with Him. However, I was single parenting 3 very small boys at the time. Quiet time?? Every day??? Ha!

I tried all sorts of ideas... I tried getting up super early and was super quiet, but within ten minutes, the little tiptoeing feet would arrive. It wouldn't matter how early it was--they have some twisted "mommy's awake" sensor! Are you laughing?? I know this has happened to you, too... :) I tried making time in the evening... after dinner and dishes are done, kids are tucked in, the house is picked up, etc, etc... Needless to say, it was a very quiet time... save for the soft snoring on occasion... I was so tired! In a message I heard once from Charles Stanley, he said he knew of a mother that would get up in the middle of the night (like 2 am!)--every night--to meet with God. I remember feeling even more condemned that I couldn't have enough discipline to be like that woman.

It was so discouraging! The worst part is, I felt such remorse over not having a regular quiet time, that I wouldn't even really pray because I felt like I hadn't really earned that right. I can remember a time almost exactly 5 years ago when I was so fed up and frustrated with all of this...I was standing in my little kitchen in my little apartment, listening to one of the regular preachers on the Dove (radio). I don't remember exactly what he was talking about, but I remember the Lord speaking so clearly to me to stop condemning myself about what I don't do every day and to change my focus to what I can do. That was a very difficult time in my life, and I was spending hours listening to radio messages, going to church and Bible studies, and constant Christian music. But I still didn't have a regular "quiet time" and I couldn't get past that. The Lord helped me see that my expectations were actually hindering Him from being able to speak to me through the things I was doing. That day, my perspective changed dramatically. It was such a lie of the enemy to believe that I hadn't earned the right to pray.

I began to pray to the Lord as my father who still loves me, and I learned to give Him opportunities to speak to me, even if it was not the ideal quiet setting every time. I continued listening to messages on the radio and online, I recognized the importance of going to Bible studies, church services, women's retreats, and listening to uplifting Christian/worship music as much as possible. And the Lord has always been gracious to speak to me through those things. Combine all of the above with actual quiet times when I could manage them, and I grew! Even recently when my dishwasher was broken, it took me ages to hand wash dishes, and I would listen to 1-2 of Beth Moore's radio messages online each time. I got through her amazing series on wisdom that way ("Wising Up" Dec. 2009 archives http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/living-proof-with-beth-moore/listen/)! So, my dishwasher has been fixed for a few weeks and I haven't listened to nearly as many messages since... I can almost picture the Lord standing by my dishwasher with a wrench in hand saying, "Shall we do this again??" :) No, no no... I'm trying to get it! 

So, that's the first step. Just getting to the point where you are giving God opportunities to speak to you--even if it doesn't always meet up to what our expectations might be. I think that is a huge trap of the enemy--to tell us that if we can't have the perfect quiet time, that we can't do it at all. Don't believe it! Learning to make God my life has been a life changing experience. Instead of trying to find a 20 minute time block for Him, the focus is on how much of Him I can incorporate into all day, every day. I love Colossians 3:1-3 in The Message Bible:

So if you're serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don't shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that's where the action is. See things from his perspective. Your old life is dead. Your new life, which is your real life—even though invisible to spectators—is with Christ in God. He is your life.

I certainly don't discount the importance of having a quiet time everyday with the Lord. Absolutely. There is a difference between incorporating Jesus into everyday, and in getting away from life to wait on Him and spend time in focused prayer. But, if there are days when you don't get that quiet time away with Him, remember He hasn't gone anywhere! Stay in communication and relationship with Him through it all. And lastly, if you honestly examine your heart and find that there isn't a true desire to spend that time with the Lord, then start there. Don't fake it, thinking that getting it done is what matters. Instead, ask God to give you that desire--He will! And it will be amazing to experience a hunger for Him and His word like never before. I know. :) Make Jesus your life. Every day. :)

I Am Nothing... (and other rabbit trails)...

I laugh as I try to think of what to say and what not to say. I settled on a topic--one that the Lord has been working on me for over a year now--but I am starting to feel like the queen of rabbit trails!! I think it's actually more common (especially with women) than I realize, but man, my brain must be one HUGE plate of spaghetti (see the book Men are Like Waffles, Women are Like Spaghetti) 'cause everything always connects!! :) Ok, so that's my warning that each blog entry should have the addition of "and other rabbit trails" after each title. It may not bother you ladies as much, but I know it drives my hubby crazy and if I were writting this for him, he would already be so annoyed, he would have quit reading about 4 lines up... hehe... And, on my final rabbit trail of this paragraph, I am finding it SO hard to blog when there's any noise! If you've ever been to my office at the church (where I work part-time as the Early Childhood Director), you might be confused as to how I can get a surprising amount of work done in there and yet, need absolute silence to blog. Let me explain. My office is also the server room for the entire (large) network. It sounds like an airplane is getting ready to take off. But it never actually takes off. And I work just fine! I can't hear anybody talking outside my (open) door, but I work just fine! :) So, you can see why I'm a little disappointed that I can't write a post without absolute silence. So, I have exactly one hour where everyone's at school/sleeping and I chose to blog instead of shower. I'm gonna look like death warmed over when I get out to pick the kids up from school, but darnit, I blogged!!

Hmmm, I'm starting to think maybe I should title this post just "rabbit trails" and then start a new one. Sorry everyone. :)  So, assuming any of you are still reading, I am excited to collect all my thoughts in one place about what the Lord's been teaching me about love. I thought I was doing good and then, it's been coming up again lately. I was encouraged to write about it when Ginny Owens' song, "I Am Nothing" came on the radio yesterday. It was so powerful...I'll post the words below.

Having been a Christian since childhood and growing up in Christian home, I was kind of shocked in the winter of 2009 when God made it very clear that I had no idea what it truly means to love. Some of you friends have heard me talk about this before... It started as something simple, I think it was a message I'd heard on the radio about love and something clicked in my heart and mind that made me realize I needed to think seriously about how loving I am to those around me. It was within the next week or so that our pastor's next sermon series was "coincidentally" titled "Love." And, again, within 3 weeks of that, I find out that the upcoming women's retreat "speaker" was a Beth Moore video series titled.. ehem, "Love." So here's my thoughts:

I am usually a pretty low drama, cut and dry, straight-forward personality. Combine that with a lack of true, godly love, and I'm afraid I've been very intolerant and/or impatient with people for various reasons. I had always written it off as my personality and I'm a huge believer in "Tough Love" (James Dobson has a fabulous book on it), but I'm just recently starting to see that we aren't meant to write everyone off in the name of tough love. Tough love has it's place, but sometimes, it's just plain No love.

My true heart's desire (under all stuff I'm working through) is to help people. I have been through quite a bit of "stuff" already in my life. If you're wondering here's a very quick recap: pastor's child :), severe personal and immediate family health issues,severe insecurity, teen pregnancy, teen parenting, spousal infidelity, divorce, low-income, single parenting, remarriage, family blending and most of what usually goes into all that. Oh my lands, I still have so much to learn, but God has been SO faithful and has brought me through every circumstance a little stronger and a little wiser. All that to say, when I see someone--a woman in particular--going through something difficult, I want to help! I want to share with her what God did for me and in me and help her be victorious in that situation! But here's the thing: not everyone wants to be victorious in my timing. Some people don't even want to hear what I have to say! And do you know what my thoughts have been? Lord, forgive me, but they have been somewhere along the lines of, "Fine, and good luck to you..." (note the sarcasm). And I write that person off. *Gasp* Do you hate me? I want so much to not be that way anymore! I am in no way endorsing enabling people. That is a whole 'nother thing and a whole 'nother blog post. Somewhere, there is a balance between truly loving someone and enabling them. And I'm excited to find this balance.

I am an extremist by nature/personality... I don't know why I just am. I was talking with my parents about it, and was to the point of wondering, am I sick? should I be on medication for this?? :) Seriously, though, I joke about it, but I cannot clean the bathroom if I don't have enough time to wash and dry the rugs or if I've already showered (bathrooms are dirty!). My mom suggested just cleaning the toilet and sink once a week and I thought I was going to go into convulsions. Ha! Honestly, I'm doing better, and this is also another post in itself, so getting back to my main point--I have to find the balance! I have to be able to be loving to people regardless of what they do! Regardless of whether they take my advice, or even listen to my advice! The "fix-it" nature in me has surrendered to a lot of pruning lately.

I can't believe I'm writing this down for all of you to read. Now if I'm ever impatient with one of you, you're gonna know what my problem is!! Arg... hello, new level of accountability, I knew this day would come. Stephan and I were in the dollar store the other day--he had specifically wanted to get dollar store pens. Whatever. Anyways, they had these cute wall sticker thingies with pretty sayings for a dollar, so I picked a couple up. My dishwasher was fixed the day before (can I hear an amen and hallelujah?!), and I'd been at a friends house who has one of the cute sticker saying on her dishwasher, so, after getting mine all cleaned up, I thought, hey! I'll put one on my dishwasher and make it cute, too! So, I looked at the two I got and decided which one was "dishwasher appropriate". I stuck it on there without much thought. So then, yesterday, I'm listening to that Ginny Owens' song I mentioned and realizing I still have a lot of work and praying to do about being loving and I go to unload the dishwasher. But stopped in my tracks when I realized what I had put on my dishwasher (I literally was only looking at the design when I put it on):

Yep. It has big, bold letters that say, "LOVE". Sometimes, I want to ask God, "Am I really that dense?!". :) He'd probably say, "yes". Do you struggle with being truly loving? This is something I will continue to work on, I'm sure, so I'll post more scriptures and stuff on this topic soon. Would love to hear your thoughts on it as well!


I Am Nothing, Ginny Owens
I could travel over oceans, cross the deserts, climb the mountains
Just to share your story, bring you glory, and win souls for you.
I could sing like an angel, songs so humble and so thankful
Full of drama and emotion, so the world would know your truth.
I could give away my money and my clothes and my food
To restore those people who are poor, lost, and down-and-out.
Oh, I could succeed at all these things,
Find favor with peasants and kings,
But if I do not love, I am nothing.

I could live a flawless life,
Never cheat or steal or lie,
And always speak so kindly, smile warmly, and go about doing good.
I could dedicate myself to do what everyone else wants me to-
Listen to them, compliment them, say the things I should.
I could show up every sunday, lead the choir and Bible study
And they all might come to know me as a leader and a friend.
Oh, I could achieve success on earth, but success cannot define my worth
And all these actions, all these words, will not matter in the end-

Chorus:
Songs will fade to silence,
Stories, they will cease.
The dust will settle, covering all my selfless deeds.
So as I strive to serve you,
Won't you make it clear to me,
If I do not love, I am nothing.

Bridge:
If I cannot live my life loving my brother,
Then how can I love the one who lived his life for me?

Sent to earth from heaven,
Humble servant, holy king,
Come to share a story, get no glory, and save my searching soul,
You knew that I'd deny you, crucify you, but nothing could stop you from
Living for me, dying for me, so that I would know-

Chorus:
Songs will fade to silence,
Stories will cease,
The dust will settle covering these selfless deeds.
But your life here has made it clear enough for me to see
That if I do not love, I am nothing

Journaling and other rabbit trails...

So, I haven't actually told anyone about this blog yet. Except my parents and my sister. Yet, no comments from them, psh. Some family.
I am not a big "bloggy" person, but the Lord has been on my case to write things down! Especially when he is speaking to me specifically or really reveals himself. I have continued to procrastinate with this concept of journaling, and I honestly type faster than I write, so that's a big reason for blogging right there. But, I also want to share what God is bringing me through and things I've learned in hopes that it might encourage someone else, too! I struggle with wondering why anyone would really care to hear what I have to say... I most certainly do not have it all together and the last thing I would want is to appear that I have it all figured out, therefore, read my blog. No, no, no! So, I argued that over with God for a while...that I still have so much to learn, I can't be used to minister to others like that yet...etc... I kinda think God thought it would be funny to use my own words against me. I had one of my many journals out recently--as I do every so often--intending to purge it from the old pages that reminded me of my inconsistencies (i.e. the entry dated 11-18-09, immediately followed by an entry dated 3-19-10) so that I could start using the journal 'fresh' and journal every day like a good little Christian (ha). As I neatly pulled out the small front portion to throw away, the first entry caught my eye. It was titled, "Ready in Season" and was an entry I had written about a portion I'd read from My Utmost for His Highest (a must-read) that day. I read through what I had written in the first few lines and here's what it said: (bear in mind, now, that this is in the same time that I'm arguing with the Lord about not being ready to be used...)

    2 Timothy 4:2 - 'Be ready in and out of season'. 'The season does not refer to time, it refers to us' (My Utmost). It means doing our best for God, whether we feel equipped, inspired, or prepared or not. 2 Timothy 3: 16-17 - 'All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.'

And so, here I am. :) Simply being obedient to God's calling to share with others and trusting him to do with it what he will. I do hope you are blessed by it. And share with me, too!